Monster Munching

2005-01-09T13:53:00.000Z

essexcountyhotel

Don't Panic!!!......actually, PANIC!!!!

2004-10-13T08:07:00.000Z

[Via Boing Boing]

Safe in the hands of the people working in U.S. terrorism prevention, you'd think the American public could live in relative calm.
Then you get issued a warning telling you that, unless you are VERY lucky, the U.S. will be attacked on the scale of 9/11 within the next six weeks!

But do they back that with any information as to roughly when or where or how?
That'll be a big fat NO!!!

So basically, all you guys can do is panic and hope that something lucky will happen.

And I thought the British Government was bad!

Video links for DAVID DEVANT!!!!

2004-10-09T13:03:00.000Z

This may or may not work!

NOTE!!!!! THESE LINKS AREN'T WORKING AT THE MOMENT.
APOLOGIES FOR ANY INCONVENIENCE, I'M WORKING ON IT!!!
Hopefully the following links will give access to some video snippets from the David Devant & His Spirit Wife gig at York Fibbers last night!

Ginger snippet
Not really sure what bit this is! Maybe more Ginger I think!
End of 'I'm Not Even Going To Try'
"I'm gonna sell my story to whoever it suits..."

You MUST listen to this band!!!

2004-10-08T13:02:00.001Z

With the new tour kicking off last night in Hull, and a gig at York tonight!, I urge you to check out David Devant & His Spirit Wife!

Tonight I'll be seeing Vessel in action!

Go out and find yourself one of the greatest albums ever written, Work, Lovelife, Miscellaneous

And then listen in wonder to the guitar skills of the ever fantastic Foz?

While indulging in the wonder of the new album, Power Words For Modern Living!

Fantastic!!!!!!!!!!!!

Just to bore you even more...

2004-09-30T09:12:00.000Z

Courtesy of the lovely people at Diaryland.com I've decided to add my own daily diary!
The link in this entry is supplemented by a permanent link, to the right, in the toolbar.

Having a separate diary means I can use this website for all my usual crap, rather than forcing my daily bore upon you.
So now you have the option!!

Don't say I don't do anything for you!

A new addition to the forthcoming Disability Act

2004-09-29T07:51:00.000Z

As snapped by Miss Sketty

Let's hope it's not taken too literally!

"The train is delayed due to Madonna...."

2004-09-29T07:18:00.000Z

[Via Sore Eyes]

A wonderful A-Z of excuses form part of the UK.railway FAQ.
They consist of the station and on-train tannoy announcements given to explain train delays and cancellations in the UK.

I've only had a quick scan through so far but a few favourites already have to be,

'Armed escaped prisoner on track threatening trains'
'Deranged female on the line'
'Driver walked off to collect kids from school'
'Exploding pigeon!'
'Portakabin blocking the line'
"Some charlie's used an alarm handle as a coat hook"
'The f**king train's broken down'
'We're lost'

Ahh, the joy of rail travel!

Just when you thought it was safe to get back in the water...

2004-09-29T01:34:00.000Z

....there comes a 30 second re-enactment of Jaws....

....by bunnies!?!

The Prestige

2004-09-29T01:17:00.000Z

Looks like director Christopher Nolan has landed himself another plumb project.
An adaptation of The Prestige by Christopher Priest.

Having directed the sublime Memento, as well as the forthcoming Batman Begins, Nolan looks to have picked a project worthy of the wonderful roll he is on.

The novel is based around two 19th Century stage magicians battling to outwit each other, by fair means or foul.
Novelist Priest has read Nolan's script and is, apparently, fascinated by the adaptation. Looks like we can await his next triumph in the near future, after Batman Begins of course!

Spaceballs 2!?

2004-09-28T23:52:00.000Z

Can it be true!?!

A follow-up to one of my favourite films of all time, Spaceballs, is apparently in the early stages of development!
Apparently Mel Brooks is writing the sequel and hopes to see it released the week before Star Wars Episode III. He is also planning to resume his role as Yoghurt, so hopefully we can assume Rick Moranis will return as Dark Helmet!!

My only regret is that the wonderful John Candy will not be part of the sequel.

Alas the poor chap has passed on.

Nonetheless, the film should be a cracker!!!

Kong is back!!!

2004-09-19T19:58:00.000Z

Having watched this clip I'm both very excited at the prospect of Peter Jackson's new project and rather at odds as to whether I think Jack Black is going to be any good in his role.

As funny as he is, he is basically playing himself in all the roles he has been in. Given that King Kong is a more dramatic and, I presume, serious role I fear he may not be able to make the necessary transition. Though I'm sure that I won't really give a monkey's when the film comes out!!

There is a very good, and up-to-date, site for the film. Kong Is King.

And Peter Jackson is keeping a wonderful production diary, featuring regular 'behind-the-scenes' video entries.

Sunday Bloody Sunday

2004-09-12T18:43:00.000Z

[Via Ben Hammersley]

Genius.
Should all else fail in the Presidential election Squire Bush Jr. has a karaoke career to fall back on!

Audiostreet.net features his wonderful version of U2's Sunday Bloody Sunday!

George, you are a numpty and a prize prat!

Look at the size of that!!!

2004-09-08T13:19:00.000Z

[Via Sore Eyes]

The website www.valtio.org has an amazing picture of THE biggest piece of machinery I have ever seen!!
And thanks to John at Sore Eyes , who did some searching, you can even see the Lego version of it!!

I'm getting my Lego out!!!!

Which Grunge Band are you?

2004-09-08T13:12:00.000Z

Suppose being Pearl Jam isn't all that bad!?!

Which Grunge Band Are You?

Somebody, anyone, please explain this to me!

2004-09-08T13:00:00.000Z

[Via Lowbright]

What on earth were they thinking of?!
I need a lie down.

At long last!!!

2004-09-07T10:37:00.000Z

A few years ago I watched an episode of ER where Dr Greene, having suffered with a brain tumour, passed away. The episode was very moving, and ended with the most beautiful version of 'Somewhere Over The Rainbow'.
I searched and searched but could not find any trace of it anywhere. I was absolutely gutted.

Anyway, today as I was sat watching my usual dose of daytime television what appeared on the new Lynx 24-7 advert?
That very same song!

So although I'm rather gutted that's it been used for such tacky purposes, the good news is that it's meant I've been able to find the artist!

The genius concerned was the Hawaiian singer Israel Kamakawiwo'ole who sadly passed away in 1997 at the age of 38. By all accounts the rest of his music is equally as beautiful so I may have to look into investing in some of his music.

Its amazing how such a gentle, beautiful voice comes from this giant of a man.
And the juxtaposition of that little ukelele against Israel makes me chuckle.

It's Halloween kids!!

2004-08-29T10:41:00.000Z

[Via ProjectBigBrother.US]

Okay I'm a bit premature for starting to get my pumpkin ready, but reading this article about alternative Halloween costumes rather tickled my fancy.

Not sure if I should be amused or worried!?!

Best of all is the fact that you can 'pimp up' your dog!!

Not this time...

2004-08-24T15:40:00.000Z

...but maybe next.

Alas, Angie didn't pass her driving test this morning.
2 major faults and 7 minors.
Basically a good drive but a few little mistakes, too fast on dual carriageway for weather conditions and failing to indicate as she turned back into the test centre, so next time it should be all systems go!!!!!!!!!

Two more years living the dream....

2004-08-24T07:33:00.000Z

Having achieved the position of Trainee Probation Officer (currently awaiting on my Police Disclosure Form being approved!!) I've just received all the info I require for the new course I'll be completing at De Montfort University in Leicester, UK.

2 years.
Community and Criminal Justice (BA/BA Honours).
Fully paid as well.

Really can't wait! Getting paid to study! Why didn't I think of that before!?!?!

Good luck Miss Wreford!!

2004-08-24T07:10:00.000Z

In half an hour (0840hours BST) my better half will be commencing her first driving test!!!

We've gone through all her 'show me - tell me' questions and she's got those perfected, and her driving is now spot-on. Then again she has been learning for about 4 years!!!
'Good things come to those who wait', so the saying goes!!!!!

All that's left for me to do is sit here waiting for her to come back home...safely!! He he!!

I am SO pumped up!

2004-08-22T17:15:00.000Z

I can't believe I've not seen this website before.
I have literally spent the last two hours completely doubled over in hysterics.
Hilarious.

Remember the ninja rules though:

1) Ninjas are mammals
2) Ninjas fight ALL the time
3) The purpose of the ninja is to flip out and kill people

Many thanks to Ronnie for pointing this site out to me.
Have had Alex and Ronnie, from the Devon Shire, up this weekend and its been a blinder. Plenty of alcohol and music which, in my book, can only be a good thing!

Mr Froo-shon-tay

2004-08-19T17:45:00.000Z

My CD rotation has been severely hampered of late by Mr John Frusciante.

Having purchased his solo album 'Shadows Collide With People' earlier in the year, and being highly impressed by it, me and Ang found it impossible to remove it from the CD player on our recent Devon/Cornwall jaunt.
(NOTE: because we liked it so much, not because it was stuck in there!)

I'd checked out John's website previously but decided to have another look on there yesterday, and the site is just crammed with wicked bits and pieces.
With his new albums out now (2 out in the last fortnight and another album due each month, for the next 5-6 months) it is well worth a look.

And if you're in any doubt as to whether you will like his solo stuff, have a gander at the 'Demos' page where John has kindly put on a FREE album, plus demos and acoustic versions of the tracks from 'Shadows Collide With People'.
I can strongly recommend them all. Absolutely brilliant. But personal favourites are 'Ricky', 'Time Goes Back' and 'This Cold'.

I bought the new album, 'The Will To Death' , today and it is just sublime. Music doesn't get any better than this.

Pics and links courtesy of John's Website - www.johnfrusciante.com

Homer is God!

2004-08-17T12:27:00.000Z

[Via Shane McDonald]

After stumbling upon the above site I couldn't resist posting these Homer quotes. Absolutely priceless! I've been pissing myself laughing all day!

Homer: [Praying heavenward]
I'm not normally a religious man, but if you're up there, save me, Superman!
___________________________________________________________________
Homer: Old people don't need companionship. They need to be isolated and studied so it can be determined what nutrients they have that might be extracted for our personal use.
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Lisa: Dad, what's a Muppet?
Homer: Well, it's not quite a mop, it's not quite a puppet, but man... [laughs hysterically] So to answer your question, I don't know.
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Homer: I understand. Let us celebrate our agreement with the adding of chocolate to milk.
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Homer: The only monster here is the gambling monster that has enslaved your mother! I call him Gamblor, and it's time to snatch your mother from his neon claws!
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Homer: God bless those pagans.
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Homer : Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals... except the weasel.
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Dealer: 19.
Homer: Hit me!
Dealer: 20.
Homer: Hit me!
Dealer: 21.
Homer: Hit me!
Dealer: 22.
Homer: D'oh!
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Homer: I saw this in a movie about a bus that had to SPEED around a city, keeping its SPEED over fifty, and if its SPEED dropped, it would explode. I think it was called, "The Bus That Couldn't Slow Down."
___________________________________________________________________
Shopkeeper: Take this object, but beware: it carries a terrible curse!
Homer: Oooh, that's bad.
Shopkeeper: But it comes with a free Frogurt!
Homer: That's good!
Shopkeeper: The Frogurt is also cursed.
Homer: That's bad.
Shopkeeper: But you get your choice of toppings!
Homer: That's good!
Shopkeeper: The toppings contain sodium benzoate. [Homer looks puzzled.] That's bad.!?
Homer: Can I go now?
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Homer: Here are your messages: You have 30 minutes to move your car. You have 10 minutes. Your car has been impounded. Your car has been crushed into a cube. You have 30 minutes to move your cube
___________________________________________________________________
Marge: I think we're going to need a bigger place.
Homer: No, we don't. I've got it all figured out. The baby can have Bart's room and Bart can sleep with us until he's 21.
Marge: Won't that warp him?
Homer: My cousin Frank did it.
Marge: You don't have a cousin Frank.
Homer: He became Francine in '76. Then he joined that cult. I think his name is Mother Shabubu now
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Homer: So I says, blue M&M, red M&M, they all wind up the same color in the end.
___________________________________________________________________
Homer: Hey, we didn't have a message on our answering machine when we left. How very odd.
___________________________________________________________________
Homer: Maybe, just once, someone will call me "sir" without adding, "you're making a scene."
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Homer: Kids, just because I don't care doesn't mean I'm not listening
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Homer: It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to fit in eight hours of TV a day
___________________________________________________________________
Homer: Are you saying you're never going to eat any animal again? What about bacon?
Lisa: No.
Homer: Ham?
Lisa: No!
Homer: Pork chops?
Lisa: Dad, those all come from the same animal!
Homer: Heh heh heh. Ooh, yeah, right, Lisa. A wonderful, magical animal.
___________________________________________________________________
Homer's brain: Use reverse psychology.
Homer: Oh, that sounds too complicated.
Homer's brain: Okay, don't use reverse psychology.
Homer: Okay, I will!
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Billy Corgan: Billy Corgan, Smashing Pumpkins
Homer: Homer Simpson, Smiling Politely
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Homer: When I first heard that Marge was joining the police academy, I thought it would be fun and zany, like that movie Spaceballs. But instead it was dark and disturbing. Like that movie -- Police Academy.
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[Homer is a Blackjack dealer]
Ernst Stavro Blofeld: Twenty. Your move, Mr. Bond.
James Bond: I'll take a hit, dealer. [Homer deals Bond a card.] Joker? You're supposed to take these out of the deck.
Homer: Oh, sorry, I'll give you another one.
[Homer deals Bond another card.]
James Bond: What's this? "Rules for Draw and Stud Poker"?
Ernst Stavro Blofeld: What a pity, Mr. Bond...
[Oddjob and Jaws advance on Bond and grab him.]
James Bond: But... but wait! It was Homer's fault. I can't lose! I never lose!
[Oddjob and Jaws drag Bond out of the casino.] At least tell me your plans for world domination!
Ernst Stavro Blofeld: Oh ho ho, I'm not falling for THAT one again.
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Astra: Your husband's work is what we call "outsider art." It could be by a mental patient, a hillbilly or a chimpanzee.
Homer: In high school I was voted most likely to *be* a mental patient, hill-billy or chimpanzee!
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[Homer tries to gain passage on an escape rocket.]
Homer: I am the piano genius from the movie "Shine."
Guard: And your name is...?
Homer: Uhh... Shiney McShine.
___________________________________________________________________
Newspaper editor: We're looking for a new food critic, someone who doesn't immediately pooh-pooh everything he eats.
Homer: Nah, it usually takes a few hours.
___________________________________________________________________
Homer: Oh, they have the Internet on computers now
___________________________________________________________________
Homer: God, if you really are God, you'll get me tickets to that game.
[doorbell rings]
Ned Flanders: Heidely-ho, neighbor. Wanna go to the game with me? I got two tick--
Homer: [slams the door, looks heavenward] Why do you mock me, O Lord?
Marge: Homer, that's not God. That's just a waffle that Bart tossed up there.
[Marge scrapes it off the ceiling into Homer's hands]
Homer: I know I shouldn't eat thee, but -- [bites] Mmm, sacrilicious.
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Homer: It's like David and Goliath, only this time David won!
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Kent Brockman: Springfield has come down with a fever: football fever. If you have the fever, there's only one cure. Take 2 tickets, and see the game Sunday morning.
Public Service Announcer: Warning. Tickets should NOT be taken internally.
Homer: See? Because of me, now they have a warning
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Lisa Simpson: Aunt Selma, this may be presumptuous, but have you ever considered artificial insemination?
Homer: Boy, I don't know. You'd have to be pretty desperate to make it with a robot!
[Marge whispers something in his ear] I knew that.
___________________________________________________________________
Homer: Please don't eat me! I have a wife and kids. Eat them!
___________________________________________________________________
Pepi: Tell me more! I want to know ALL the constellations!
Homer: Well, that one's Jerry, the cowboy. And that big dipper-looking thing is Alan, the cowboy.
___________________________________________________________________
Marge: I'm worried about the kids, Homey. Lisa's becoming very obsessive.
Homer: I know. And this perpetual-motion machine she made today is a joke! It just keeps going faster and faster. Lisa! Get in here. [Lisa walks in] In this house, we obey the laws of thermodynamics!
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Homer: There, there, Bart. If something's hard, then it's not worth doing
___________________________________________________________________
[Homer can't stop the monorail]
Marge: I've brought somebody to help you.
Homer: Is it Batman?
Marge: It's a scientist.
Homer: Batman's a scientist?
Marge: It's NOT Batman.
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Homer's ghost: Marge you gotta help me, I have to do one good deed to get into heaven.
Marge: Well I got a whole list of chores: clean the garage, paint the house...
Homer's ghost: Whoa whoa whoa. I'm just trying to get in, I'm not running for Jesus
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Homer: Bad bees! Get away from my sugar! Ow! Ow!! Oh, they're defending themselves somehow!
___________________________________________________________________
Homer: I want to set the record straight: I thought the cop was a prostitute
___________________________________________________________________
Homer: Look Marge, you don't know what it's like -- I'm the one out there every day putting his ass on the line. And I'm not out of order! You're out of order! The whole freakin' system is out of order! You want the truth? You want the truth?! You can't HANDLE the truth! 'Cause when you reach over and put your hand into a pile of goo that was your best friend's face, you'll know what to do! Forget it, Marge, it's Chinatown!
___________________________________________________________________
[Homer is teaching a university course on marriage]
Homer: I do have a story about two other young marrieds. Now, the wife of this couple had an interesting quirk in the bedroom. It seems she goes wild with desire if her husband nibbles on her elbow.
Krabappel: We need names!
Homer: Well, er, let's just call them, uh, "Mr. X" and "Mrs. Y." So anyway, Mr. X would say, "Marge, if this doesn't get your motor running, my name isn't Homer J. Simpson!"
___________________________________________________________________
[Ned and Homer are driving in a snowstorm.]
Ned Flanders: Homer, we just hit something!
Homer: Ooooooh, I hope it was Flanders
___________________________________________________________________
Homer: Oh, yeah, what are you gonna do? Release the dogs? Or the bees? Or the dogs with bees in their mouth and when they bark, they shoot bees at you?
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Homer: (Offering Lisa a donut.) Donut?
Lisa: Uhh... got any fruit?
Homer: This one has purple in it. Purple's a fruit.
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Homer: But every time I learn something new, it pushes out something old! Remember that time I took a home wine-making course and forgot how to drive?
Marge: That's because you were drunk!
Homer: And how!
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Mr. Burns (Golfing with Homer): Use an open-faced club! A sand wedge!
Homer: Mmmmm... open-faced club sandwich.
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Homer: Marge, since I'm not talking to Lisa, could you please ask her to pass me the syrup?
Marge: Please pass your father the syrup, Lisa.
Lisa: Bart, tell dad I'll only pass the syrup if it won't be used on any meat products.
Bart: You dunkin your sausages in that syrup, Home boy?
Homer: Marge, tell Bart I just want to drink a nice glass of syrup like I do every morning.
Marge: Tell him yourself, you're ignoring Lisa, not Bart.
Homer: Bart thank your mother for pointing that out.
Marge: Homer, you're not not talking to me, and secondly, I heard what you said.
Homer: Lisa, tell your mother to get off my case.
Bart: Ah, dad, Lisa's the one you're not talking to,
Homer: Bart, go to your room!
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Homer (Upon finding out he's been admitted to college): (Singing) I am so smart! I am so smart! S-M-R-T! S-M-R-T! I mean, S-M-A-R-T!
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Homer: Oh, Lisa, you and your stories: Bart's a vampire, beer kills brain cells. Now let's go back to that... building... thingie... where our beds and TV... is.
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Homer: Operator! Give me the number for 911!
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Homer: Mmmm... beer.
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Lenny: Hey, Homer? What do I tell the boss?
Homer: Tell him I'm going to the back seat of my car with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes!
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Big brother representative: Now, Mr. Simpson, may I ask why you're here?
Homer's brain: Don't say revenge. Don't say revenge.
Homer: Ummm... revenge?
Homer's brain: Okay, that's it. I'm outta here. (step step step step step... slam)
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Homer: Okay, brain. You don't like me, and I don't like you, but let's get through this thing and then I can continue killing you with beer.
Homer's Brain: It's a deal!
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Homer: Bart, a woman is like a beer. They look good, they smell good, and you'd step over your own mother just to get one! (chugs beer)
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Homer: Son, when you participate in sporthing events, it's not whether you win or lose... it's how drunk you get.
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Homer: Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.
___________________________________________________________________
Homer: Mmmmm... 64 slices of American cheese. 64 (munch munch munch)... 63 (munch munch munch) (cut to much later)
Homer: 2... (munch munch munch) ... 1 (munch munch munch)
Marge: Homer, have you been up all night eating cheese?
Homer: I think I'm blind.
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Reporter: Don't you think it's dangerous to send civilians into space?
Homer: I'll handle this... the only danger in space is if we land on the terrible Planet of the Apes... wait a minute. Statue of Liberty... THAT WAS OUR PLANET! YOU MANIACS! YOU BLEW IT UP! DAMN YOU! DAMN YOU ALL TO HELL! (Starts sobbing uncontrollably)
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Homer: Ahhh... sweet pity. Where would my love life be without it?
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Homer: Awww... 20 dollars!? I wanted a peanut.
Homer's brain: 20 dollars can buy many peanuts!
Homer: Explain how.
Homer's brain: Money can be exchanged for goods and services!
Homer: Woo hoo!
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Homer (Looking at a "nudie deck"):"The girls of the internet." Ooh, I'd go online with them anyday!
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Lisa: Dad, we did something very bad!
Homer: Did you wreck the car?
Bart: No.
Homer: Did you raise the dead?
Lisa: Yes.
Homer: But the car's okay?
Bart & Lisa: Uh-huh.
Homer: All right then.
___________________________________________________________________
Homer: Mmmmm... reprocessed pig fat...
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Homer (praying): Dear Lord, the gods have been good to me. As an offering, I present these milk and cookies. If you wish me to eat them instead, please give me no sign whatsoever... thy will be done (munch munch munch).
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Homer: If there's one thing I've learned, it's that life is one crushing defeat after another until you just wish Flanders was dead.
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Homer: What's the point of going out? We're just going to wind up back here, anyway.
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Homer: To find Flanders, I have to think like Flanders.
Homer's brain: I'm a big four-eyed lame-o! And I wear the same stupid sweater every day and...
Homer: The Springfield river!
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Random pictures...

2004-08-17T09:24:00.000Z

Not sure why but just decided to post some random pics I found.
I think it's my way of filling my last month of freedom with as much pap as I can find!

This is the world's biggest ball of paint!
Started in 1977 around a baseball, it measures 111inches in circumference (though rather dubious of that figure!) and is made up of some 18,000 coats of paint!

This merino sheep, going by the name of Shrek, was found in New Zealand having being unshorn for 6 years! Poor sod!

This mammoth wave hit the fishing port of Aki in West Japan during recent storms.

And these Taiwanese cops were called out to apprehend a runaway, delinquent Ostrich from the local zoo!
You can just imagine the Benny Hill Theme playing in the background!!

Let me introduce....

2004-08-17T01:32:00.000Z

.... a very good friend of mine. Stacey

Otherwise known as Sketty!

The joy of having friends is in being there for them, and sharing, in their times of joy, and laughing at them when they are at their most weak and feeble.
On this occasion I am happy to be sharing in Sketty's joyful moment.

Far be it for me to waving a mocking finger in her general direction. (sniggers off camera)

Flash Floods

2004-08-16T21:12:00.000Z

[Via BBC News]

Just been watching the BBC1 Ten O'Clock News and the footage of the horrific flash floods that have hit Bocastle, Tintagel and Camelford in Cornwall. Some of the footage can be seen on this BBC Video.

Having been on holiday in Newquay last week, and passing through Camelford on our journey back, it seems so bizarre seeing the towns blitzed by a 10foot barricade of water. Cars just being picked up and hurled through the main street. Crazy.

What the fuck are you guys doing up there!?!

2004-08-16T18:01:00.000Z

[Via ProjectBigBrother.US]

At the end of the recent DNC (Democratic National Convention), televised across America, after a rousing John Kerry speech, came a balloon and confetti spectacular.
Or at least there was supposed to be.

Convention director, Don Mischer, having left his mike connected to the CNN broadcast, proceeded to berate his crew.
The full transcript can be found here, as well as this audio file which came as he finally flipped -
"All balloons, what the hell. There's nothing falling. what the fuck are you guys doing up there?"

A stormy marriage already...?

2004-08-15T10:32:00.000Z

...No. Just a honeymoon with Hurricane Charley!!!

Last Saturday (7th August 2004)I had the great honour of being one of the best men at the Wedding of my good friend Squire Robert Wickins and his beautiful bride Natalie Toms.

The wedding was stunning. The proudest day of my life, without a doubt.
There was plenty of tears, a lot of laughing and just a wonderful time had by all.

After the fun of the Stag Night I shall be getting photos of the big day up as soon I've got them all available.

The couple set off for a three-week honeymoon in Orlando and Jamaica only to meet up with the aforementioned weather phenomenon. As far as I know the couple are safe and well and have made it through the worst of the weather, and now Natalie can go back to beating Rob on the Water Racing rides!!! SILVER!! SILVER!!

Sexiest female SF characters ever...

2004-08-15T09:36:00.000Z

[Via Sore Eyes]

The magazine Film Review has had a vote on the sexiest female SF film characters ever. My Top 3 would probably have been -

1) Leeloo (Milla Jovovich) in The Fifth Element
2) Ripley (Sigourney Weaver) in Aliens
3) Princess Leia (Carrie Fisher) in Star Wars

I love Fifth Element, and Milla Jovovich is absolutely stunning! Jean-Paul Gaultier's costume design definitely has something to do with that though!!

Ripley, in Aliens, is simply a perfect mix of sexiness, strength and kicking ass!!

While Princess Leia harks back to my first boyhood crush! Ahh memories!

The full list was -

1) Barbarella (Jane Fonda) in Barbarella
2) Leeloo (Milla Jovovich) in The Fifth Element
3) T-X (Kristanna Loken) in Terminator 3
4) Princess Leia (Carrie Fisher) in Star Wars
5) Trinity (Carrie-Anne Moss) in The Matrix
6) Maria (Brigette Helm) in Metropolis
7) Zhora (Joanna Cassidy) in Blade Runner
8) Sil (Natasha Henstridge) in Species
9) Vaako (Thandie Newton) in The Chronicles of Riddick
10) Ripley (Sigourney Weaver) in Alien

Belated news I admit!!!

2004-08-15T09:21:00.000Z

I have been offered the job of Probation Officer!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Not sure why I haven't posted this before, I actually found out about a month ago!
I'm just awaiting my Police Disclosure form to be processed, to prove I have no criminal record, and then I'll be signing contracts!

So the first job interview I had and I'm now a respectable member of the community!!

And to make things even better I start the job on my birthday, October 4th!!! Which means another month and a half of posting crap on here!! Woo hoo!!!

Galaxy High! Galaxy High!

2004-08-04T06:06:00.000Z

Been meaning to post a link to these audio and video links for the classic children's TV show Galaxy High!

Quite possibly one of the greatest theme tunes ever!
Summer holidays in the early 90's wouldn't have been the same without it!

A challenge!!!

2004-08-03T07:04:00.000Z

I defy anyone to work out what the hell this website is all about!?!?!

An example quote -

'Stephen laughs and drinks all night with every karaoke singer because one agreeable orange organizes a fruit. The wasp who plans an escape from aardvark makes love to that Dalmatian goes deep sea fishing with the monkey. The goose finds lice on a unicorn and the bastard groundhog writes a love letter to a martini. This heron steals pencils from Stephanie'

Excuse me. What?

50 Things That Change When You Leave University

2004-08-03T06:57:00.000Z

Some of you may have already received this via email but it made me chuckle, particularly given my recent transition from dosser to respectable member of the community!

* 6 am is when you get up, not when you go to sleep
* Having sex in a single bed is absurd…
* You have more food than beer in the fridge…
* You actually eat breakfast foods at breakfast time…
* You don’t volunteer for clinical trials at hospital
* You know all of the people sleeping in your house…
* You hear your favourite song in the lift at work…
* Informative Television does not include “Richard & Judy”
* The bank manager doesn’t write you threatening letters anymore…
* You carry an umbrella…
* Seven day benders are no longer realistic…
* You don’t go to tesco with all your friends..
* You have standing orders and direct debits…
* The heating works in your house…
* Your friends marry and divorce instead of get together & break up.
* You pay the goverment £1000’s of pounds every year…
* You go from 130 days of holidays per year to 20
* jeans and tee shirt no longer qualify as being “dressed up”
* You’re the one calling the police because those kids next door wont turn down the stereo
* You get out of bed in the morning – even if it’s raining…
* Washing up is not an annual ritual
* Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you..
* You don’t know what time the chippy closes anymore…
* Your car insurance decreases in cost whilst your payments for the car increase
* You feed your dog “Pal” instead of uneaten McDonalds
* You don’t get ideas for drinks from local tramps
* You don’t put half finished curries into the fridge to eat later…
* You hate “scrounging Students”
* You no longer have a strange attraction to roadsigns when pissed
* Sleeping in the lounge is a no – no…
* You can’t persuade your flat mates to drink till dawn…
* You don’t spend Wednesday afternoons in the pub…
* You always know where you are when you wake up…
* You no longer take naps from noon until 6pm…
* A fire in the kitchen is not a laugh,,,
* You go to Boots for Panadol and antacids, Not Condoms and pregnancy testing kits…
* A £3 bottle of wine is no longer “ pretty good stuff”
* You can remember the name of the person you wake up next to…
* Your fantasies of having sex with 3 women with lesbian tendencies are replaced by fantasies of having sex with anyone
* You don’t have mice living in your kitchen…
* Grocery lists are longer than Pot noodles and cans of lager
* Lunchtime is not “the morning”
* You don’t go to KwikSave to buy Vodka
* You have vacuumed…
* Breaking the law means doing 40 in a 30 zone…
* “I just can’t drink the way I used to” replaces “I’m never gonna drink that much ever again
* Over 90 % of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work…
* you no longer experiment with banned substances
* You don’t get drunk at home, to save money, before going to a pub…

Sadly it's all true.

The Three Laws Of Robotics

2004-08-01T13:15:00.000Z

Found a brilliant analysis of Issac Asimov's Three Laws Of Robotics on the increasingly brilliant Wikipedia website.

With all the interest in the new I, Robot film its worth reading to understand all the history and theory behind the laws.

Comments

2004-08-01T12:57:00.000Z

After being a muppet for 3 months, with people telling me they couldn't leave comments, I've just realised how to enable comments to be made.

So now, if you feel the need, you can leave me a comment!!
Hooray I hear you all moan!

One week to go!

2004-08-01T11:46:00.000Z

With less than one week to his big day I have set up a site dedicated to Robert Wickins' Stag Night!

So get your arse over to Robert's Big Night Out and see the pics of the big day!!

Have YOU got a favourite word!?!

2004-07-30T21:34:00.000Z

[via Ben Hammersley]

"WordCount™ is an interactive presentation of the 86,800 most frequently used English words"

This is brilliant! A very clever Flash application!

In its own words it-
'presents the 86,800 most frequently used English words, ranked in order of commonality. Each word is scaled to reflect its frequency relative to the words that precede and follow it, giving a visual barometer of relevance. The larger the word, the more we use it. The smaller the word, the more uncommon it is.'

A few of my favourites-

plinth #23108
mellifluous #62851
panoply #42958
misanthropic #77633
laburnum #45345

Beam me up Jarvis!!

2004-07-30T08:30:00.000Z

[via Popbitch]

He's had more than his fair share of duff cover versions in the past but William Shatner's version of Pulp's Common People is quality!

An exciting night eh Rob!?!

2004-07-23T21:19:00.000Z

Lucky Nat!!!

Rob is the stag man!

2004-07-23T21:13:00.000Z

What a night!

More pics to come of the big night but this one is a classic, could I possibly be having anymore fun!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The name's Hood. Robin Hood.

2004-07-21T19:35:00.000Z

That's right. Grab your bow. Slip on your feathered cap.
It's time to show your arrow skills in the new Robin Hood game on the Mousebreaker website!

Be sure to check the leader board because yours truly has just hit the top with 45570!!

How to make me a happy chappy...

2004-07-20T22:38:00.000Z

...announce 2 David Devant & His Spirit Wife gigs that I can actually get to!

And to make it even better, they're on consecutive days!!!

DD&HSW are my favourite band, but while I've been at Uni for the last 6 years I've not been able to see them. So the gigs at York and Hull (October 7th/8th) can't come soon enough!

I urge you wholeheartedly to check them out, they are absolutely amazing!

Devoted Bee

2004-07-20T10:46:00.000Z

In a similar vein to the Exploding Dog website, the Devoted Bee website is a great site with some weird and wonderful pictures.

Home to the egg-straordinary Eggpants!
And also the brilliant Hamilton and Reggie Metal!

The picture here is too small to read properly but if you use the link there are loads. Some of the older strips in the archive are pure genius!

Plant Care and Chicken Storm are my favourites.

Exploding dog!

2004-07-20T10:11:00.000Z

This website is wonderful!
Regular readers send Sam random titles such as 'and he did that' or 'I am out of ideas' and produces weird and wonderful picture creations!

There are 1000's to look at so its definitely an archive to look at in installments!

In the beginning...

2004-07-20T09:51:00.000Z

...Man created the Brick Testament!

Another site I've been meaning to link to for a while now! Every story from the Bible told in glorious Lego technicolour!

It's regularly updated and there's even Bible merchandise available!

On your marks....

2004-07-20T09:28:00.000Z

...get set....GO!!!

That's right. It's time to play Pooh Sticks!

I was registered on this site a few years ago but had forgotten all about it until today, have had to re-register but my previous track record wasn't particularly good so maybe thats a blessing!

Get yourself a stick (mine is called Falamus TopStick) and get chucking!

The big weekend!

2004-07-20T09:19:00.000Z

Last Saturday we had the big Stag Day for Squire Wickins!
And a fantastic time was had by all!

Photo's are being processed as we speak and will be posted as soon as we get them. The day was action-packed and was probably one of the best day/nights out we've ever had!

I'll put more details up when I have the pictures, as I'm sure it will all make more sense then!

Just got to wait for the big day now (August 7th) and get my best man speech done!

The deed is done!

2004-07-13T23:51:00.000Z

I have had my final interview for Probation Officer yesterday!
Really not sure how it went, the interviews were the hardest things I've ever done, and I came out of them feeling like I'd done a marathon!

I should hear, either way, by the end of next week! Fingers crossed because I think I'm going to need all the luck I can get!

Which film killer are you!?!

2004-07-08T13:23:00.000Z

Find out which cinematic terror you most resemble!

As you can see I am Dr Lecter, which wouldn't be so worrying were it not for the fact that, a week ago, I had a dream that I was Hannibal Lecter!! I was making everyone into burgers!
Analyse that then!

I missed it!!!!

2004-07-08T09:27:00.000Z

Would you believe it, after all that waiting around I missed the flower opening!

After going to bed late Tuesday night I wasn't able to get on the net until this morning and it turns out that, during yesterday, the bloody thing closed back up again!!
So I never got to see the thing fully in bloom!
Gutted!!
Serves me right I suppose!

Titan arum update

2004-07-06T22:45:00.000Z

11.50pm GMT Update

And bigger it gets!

2004-07-06T21:53:00.000Z

10.50pm GMT update

After a week of waiting...

2004-07-06T20:21:00.000Z

The beast is blooming!

It's going slow but I'm sure it's not going to be long.
I dread to think what the smell must be like inside that room!

I'm going to try and get regular screengrabs from the webcam in order to try and build up a timelapse profile.

It's started opening!

2004-07-06T17:21:00.000Z

6.20pm GMT it is clearly beginning to open up around the spathe.

I reckon another hour or two and the beast will be unleashed!

Now it's REALLY starting to whiff....!!!

2004-07-06T15:40:00.000Z

So they've sent in a gas mask!!!

Not long now!!

What's the story in Balamory!?!

2004-07-06T15:25:00.000Z

Get yourself on down to Balamory on CBBC!!

If only for the fact that PC Plum is such a dude!

And it gets even better!
You can do Balamory Karaoke!! Click on PC Plum to sing along with his excellent theme tune!

Can you tell I've got too much time on my hands at the moment!!

It's starting to whiff...!

2004-07-06T15:10:00.000Z

Looks as though today will be the day!!

The plant looks as though it is beginning to give in to gravity! The large 'spathe' at the top is beginning to loosen its grip around the main section of the plant and the sheer size of the flower means it should begin to bloom soon!!

I can't believe I'm just sat here watching the plant!

It's gonna explode...!!!!

2004-07-05T19:34:00.000Z

Continuing from my post about titan arum a few days ago, the mighty flower was due to bloom around June 30th.
It has, however, continued to grow about an inch a day and shows no sign of stopping! The botanists at the University of Connecticut fear that instead of flowering the thing may just explode!!

The Uni guys have been keeping a daily progress chart to show its growth pictorially and in charts.

To give you some idea of how big this thing is getting here are some sequential photos from the last month!!

June 8th - 16.5 inches tall. A mere baby in comparison to how big it's going to get!

June 14th - 25.75 inches tall

June 17th - 33 inches tall. Getting big so they employed a gimp to guard it!

June 22nd - 45.75 inches tall. For public safety they've now replaced the gimp with this dude!

June 25th - 51.25 inches tall. Now this chump gets in on the action! I swear that's Germany's ex manager Rudi Voller!!

June 30th - 56 inches tall. At this point it was thought that the plant was going to flower.

However, as of 9.30pm GMT today, the thing is still holding out!!

Keeping an eye on the webcam so I can hopefully get a screengrab just as it opens! Sad I know!

All pictures courtesy of The University of Connecticut.

That which we call a Rose...

2004-07-04T23:01:00.000Z

...by any other name would smell as sweet.

The famous titan arum is about to flower! Otherwise known as the corpse flower it releases the stench of rotting flesh so as to attract the flies it needs to pollinate it.

The University of Connecticut has been cultivating one for the last TEN years! And its about to open. And it's all live on the net!

Take a look at the webcam!

The flowering only lasts for a few days so catch it now!!
Luckily it isn't Smellyvision as the plant has a smell akinned to old socks, rotten vegetables and dead fish!!

And if the whole thing isn't cool enough, the plant is warm-blooded so that it can heat up and better spread its putrid aroma!!

Velvet Revolver

2004-07-02T18:43:00.000Z

Just heard my first taste of Velvet Revolver on TOTP tonight and i can say i am suitably impressed.

Home to the talents of Guns 'N' Roses members Slash, Duff McKagan and Matt Sorum, plus Stone Temple Pilots troubled singer Scott Weiland plus Dave Kushner of Wasted Youth, I have to admit the sound wasn't quite what I was expecting.

The sound was somewhat similar to that of Screaming Trees which can only be a good thing.
Briefly checking out the website there is a lot to be catching up on, and with the debut album, Contraband, selling more first week copies in the US than any other rock album it seems the hype may actually be believeable.

Am now looking forward to wading through the music and video files available at the home site!

Not sure why...

2004-06-29T15:38:00.000Z

... but I suddenly felt the need to know what Marcus Bentley, 'voice of Big Brother', looked like.

Now that I've seen him I'm not sure whether I'm disappointed or surprised. Think I was expecting something a bit more... weird?!

Anyway, the dude has got the same birthday as me!! October 4th!!
Put it in your diaries kids!

Wilbur Wants To Kill Himself

2004-06-29T14:57:00.000Z

Me and Ang watched this wonderful film on DVD at the weekend.

Set in and around a Glasgow second-hand bookshop and the nearby hospital, the story revolves around a chronically suicidal Wilbur and his older brother Harbour.

Having heard nothing about the film prior to watching it I absolutely loved it. The humour is sometimes necessarily slight, sometimes blatant but always completely bizarre! And it all works so well.

The mix of comedy and sadness, at first, seem rather at odds. As is trying to maintain some sympathy for the characters when the love-triangle develops. But then you realise that this is intentional, provoking plenty of thoughtful moments and building to the whole atmosphere of the film.

Definitely one film going in my DVD collection!

Congratulations to Alexander the Greek!!!

2004-06-29T11:21:00.000Z

After completing the 2004 London Marathon, in full costume

Exeter City FC's mascot (Dave Stowell) has won this years Mascot Derby at Lingfield Park!!

Despite some quite appalling cheating from Burton Albion's Billy The Brewer Alex fought off the challenge of Tamworth's Tammy The Lamb and Crystal Palace's Peter The Eagle to head the 36 strong field!

As this was his last appearance as Alexander the Greek it was quite a way to go out!

Hopefully this will be a precursor to Conference success in the 2004/05 season.
Come on you Grecians!!!

It's A Boy!!!

2004-06-29T10:28:00.000Z

Via [BBC News]

The BBC news website featured a story on Monday about the new ultrasound technology being used to discover more about the life of the foetus in the womb.

There are some incredible images being produced.
This is at 22 weeks gestation, showing the baby's sensory skills developing to allow it to scratch, rub and pat his cheek and nose!

The foetus has been shown to exhibit some behaviour identical to what it will do after birth. In this picture the foetus, when upright on a flat surface, tries to move forward.

After birth, babies take up to 4-6 weeks before they smile. However, in the womb they can smile although the reasons for this are not yet known.
Personally, I'm not sure I'd call this a smile, a 'gurn' maybe!

And never mind finding comfort in sucking your thumb.
This baby has found himself a nice juicy big toe! Smell the cheese!

The first rule of Fight Club is....

2004-06-25T18:13:00.000Z

...it is really Calvin & Hobbes in disguise!

I came across this article which delves into the uncanny similarities between the film and the cartoon!

Calvin and Hobbes secret club G.R.O.S.S. (Get Rid Of Slimy GirlS) even bears a resemblance to Tyler Duerden's underground fighting society!

The similarities are, to be honest, rather far-fetched and most of the comparative elements are clearly just likely coincidences. And as with most story-telling devices those elements are not exactly unique to either Calvin & Hobbes or Fight Club.

Very amusing nevertheless!!!

The BBC, the lost tape and the 6-foot fridge!

2004-06-18T22:03:00.000Z

Via [Sore Eyes]

The new BBC regime hasn't quite got its house in order quite yet!
Follow the mp3 link to hear the consequences!

The Genius Elliott Smith

2004-06-15T21:58:00.000Z

Have had an evening listening to Elliott Smith, the greatest singer-songwriter that ever graced this planet. Not sure why I've never written about him before but suddenly felt the need to tonight.
Probably because I was trying to work out the piano part to 'Son Of Sam' from his 'Figure 8' album. The last album before he died. Or was he murdered?

The man was a genius. There is no other way of describing him.
Tortured. Depressed. Lonely. But the greatest song writer ever.

This picture is a snippet from the cover of his Figure 8 album.

A truly wonderful album. A demonstration of how truly great one singer could be, playing all his own instruments and doing his own thing.

Really still can't believe he is dead. A legacy of beautiful songs, some sad, some just stupidly brilliant, keep him alive.
A beautiful man.
Elliott Smith.

Phase I completed!

2004-06-14T13:38:00.000Z

Good news everyone!

The Phase I interview, for Probation Officer, was on Thursday and went very well. The written task was a killer but I felt I'd done enough to get through.
I was expecting to hear whether I was through on Friday 18th June by letter and so put it to the back of my mind.
Yesterday (Sunday) afternoon the phone rings, expecting it to be my mum or my brother I answered with a lazy sunday "Yo", only to hear the voice of the Lincolnshire Probation Service co-ordinator telling me I was through!
Glad they weren't testing my telephone skills!!

Next interview is Tuesday 13th July! Got a presentation to plan for that in the meantime, so updates as and when required!!

Top 50 'Best Bits' from songs!!!

2004-06-12T06:33:00.000Z

Via [Sore Eyes]

The website retroCRUSH has come up with the coolest idea ever. Polling readers on their favourite guitar, drum, or piano solo, best obscure lyric and so on.

And so they devised the Top 50 Coolest Song Parts!
Complete with small MP3 files to hear the song parts in question!!!

Not sure if I agree with all the choices but there are some blinders on there, Prince's guitar riff from "Let's Go Crazy" is wicked and The Who's opening synthesiser riff from "Baba O'Riley" has always been one of my favourites!

I do think the lyrical gem from "Tribute" by Tenacious D should have got higher than #41, facing the demon threat with such aplomb.
Demon: "Be you Angels?"
Tenacious D: "Nay, we are but men, ROCK!"

The problem with polling a Top 50 list like this is that it always misses out some of your own favourites. I'd have loved to have seen the whiney synthesiser riff from Tina & Ike Turner's 'Nutbush City Limits'!!
A quality title and a great tune!!

'Mud, Glorious Mud!!'

2004-06-10T21:42:00.000Z

Marco still annoys the shit out of me but this was piss funny!!

I feel let down and used

2004-06-09T22:15:00.000Z

Why was my radio control car never as good as this?!!!

I'm thinking Santa owes me big time next xmas!

Excuse me while I shit my pants!

2004-06-08T21:05:00.000Z

How cool is this going to be!!!

After the disappointment of the last venture into Batman territory the new Batman Begins film sounds as though it could be THE best action film ever!!!

Look at the arse on that!!

This is gonna be big!! With Chris Nolan (director of Memento) at the helm, and a cast including Christian Bale, Ken Watanabe, Michael Caine, Morgan Freeman, Liam Neeson, Gary Oldman and Tom Wilkinson it just can't get any better!!!

Who said the Chinese don't know what they're on about!?!

2004-06-08T20:40:00.000Z

You gotta believe what the cookie says!!!

Somebody attacked my site!

2004-06-08T20:30:00.000Z

Bad news everyone! At 2130hours tonight my site was attacked, not sure how much damage was caused but I've managed to track down some video footage of what happened.

Think I need some time to myself to think about what has happened.

Poor old Jemima!!

2004-06-08T20:16:00.000Z

Angie decided to adopt the duck!!

adopt your own virtual pet!

Jemima was a typical young ugly duck seeking approval from her quacky peers. She tried to make some new friends but struggled because of her fear of water.
Hope came in the form of Howard the duck who offered to look after her, he even offered to introduce her to his brothers and sisters. But this was all a BIG FAT LIE!!!
There were no brothers and sisters, just a big puddle of tar!
"Swim in this, seeing as you don't like water!" He quacked!

Luckily Angie has been on hand to give her a good shower down and a glass of lime cordial.

Games for you all!!

2004-06-08T19:01:00.000Z

Just a few games to keep you folks amused!!

Dodge the blue blocks! Move the red square and see how long you can evade the nasty blues! I've managed a paltry 12.557 seconds!!

Who Wants To Smoke My Honeybear!?! How far can you get in this Millionaire-esque weed-fest! I got to a crappy level 7!

Flesh or Food!?! I managed to guess 8 of this fruity/fleshy pictures!

Gridlock! A clever little logic game which I'm steadily working my way through!

Ever stared at the clouds....

2004-06-08T18:52:00.000Z

Via [Sore Eyes]

...and seen a big fat ass staring back at you!?!

Well take a look at this set of clouds in Mexico!

P...P...P...Play with my penguin!

2004-06-08T18:36:00.000Z

Jonathon is his name!

adopt your own virtual pet!

Jonathon was orphaned in March after his parents were caught peddling crack cocaine across the Colombian/Arctic border. Their public beheading left little Jonathon feeling withdrawn and confused, and it took me a few weeks to get him talking again.

But now Jonathon is like a new penguin, and is due to feature in the new James Bond film as the Bond girl Frosty McCrotch.
A comedy tour is scheduled around Christmas with support from 'Pingu and the Pinguettes'!

I'm thinking of getting myself a duck too!

Pop over to bunnyherolabs and adopt yourself a wee animal!

Time flies...

2004-06-06T21:52:00.000Z

...when you're having fun!

No entries for the past week what with looking after the missus and darting round the country in the Batmobile!!

Angie came down with a nasty case of tropical frostbite, otherwise known medically as tonsilitis. Cue much mopping of her fevered brow!

Managed to get quite a few pictures taken in and around Ipswich of which I'll be posting a few as and when I get time.

Also, after a request from Mr Cawte - Ireland's 2nd most greatly received import (after Miss Herring), I shall be posting a tribute to the wonderful game of Stairball. Possibly one of the greatest games ever invented.

Meeooww!!

2004-06-06T21:36:00.000Z

As Angie hates cats I reckon this could be an ideal Christmas present this year!!

Word up my homie!

2004-05-31T00:56:00.000Z

This is Rap Superstar 'Dirty Money' coming in your ears! Easy now!
That's right. My rapstar name is Dirty Money and you best not be dissing me or my crew.

Try it out for yourself here.

And in a similar theme!
What Popstar name will you have? I'm Darren McKnight!
What Rockstar name will you have? I'm Kurt Morrison!
What Countrystar name will you have? I'm Clyde Keith! Yee ha!!

Reminder for newcomers to this site

2004-05-31T00:17:00.000Z

If this is your first time at my Blog then a big 'Hello'!! and a little reminder that some of my initial entries are now in the May Archive. Either click on the link or in future the link can be found in the toolbar on the right-hand side.

Hope you enjoy!!!

While I'm at it...

2004-05-30T23:59:00.000Z

... I just have to have a moan about Kitten

She comes across as someone who feels very insignificant in society and who has come into the Big Brother house in order to try and manipulate her new surroundings in order to reverse those roles.
The fact that they are now all enclosed within the 'Big Brother bubble' seems to be a key which Kitten feels that she will now become significant, and more in control.

Within 24 hours of being in the house she was openly discussing ideas of rebelling against the nomination process. Firstly, this seemed to be Kitten 'testing the water' to see how people would respond to her being dominant and dictating, and secondly, it seemed to be her openly displaying her inner worries about being unliked, still insignificant, even in the BB bubble, and therefore nominated.
Another display of defiance, during the first nomination task, led to her being overlooked by Big Brother and unable to vote. I got the feeling she wanted Big Brother to keep pestering at her to get into the diary room. She look miffed when they moved straight on, and became rather introverted when it became clear that her wonderful rebellion was already beginning to backfire.

Continued acts of disrespect and defiance against Big Brother are always followed by tentative looks around at her fellow housemates, indicating a sense of wanting to be seen and to be accepted. Accepted not only as the dominant personality in the house but, primarily, accepted as a member of the house.

I believe she is genuinely worried that she is not going to last a few weeks, and the bravado she displays in her rebellion against dictating Big Brother is merely a sorry facade for her need to feel wanted and accepted.

We shall see!!

The man is a dude!

2004-05-30T23:43:00.000Z

He still annoys me, and he's still as arrogant as ever but BB5 participant Victor is still making me piss my pants!
After his world record for fastest nomination (he nominated Kitten for the luggage deprival) he has subsequently come up with the years greatest quote.

Discussing her mental state in the BB house he said she had 'as much stability as Rik Waller doing the Riverdance on a tea table'!!!
Brilliant! Although very annoying, he'll be one I won't mind staying in the BB house!

Another one who is a possibility for staying longer is Dan.

There is definitely something there that he's not telling everyone, and he's looking less annoying than the rest of them at the moment!
Plus! He looks rather like BB4 stalwart Jon Tickle!!

But I'm still sticking with my final 3!

What does Angie want to be!!

2004-05-30T19:30:00.000Z

After I had done my 'Career Profile' we decided to get Angie to do one, just to check if it correlated appropriately with her chosen career.
Considering that she is a Primary School Teacher (teaching 5 year olds) the test was actually quite accurate. Maybe thats an indicator for what's in store for me!!

Extroverted (E) 63.16% Introverted (I) 36.84%
Realistic (S) 64.52% Imaginative (N) 35.48%
Emotional (F) 54.05% Intellectual (T) 45.95%
Organized (J) 61.11% Easygoing (P) 38.89%

Your type is: ESFJ

You are a Supporter, possible professions include - nurse, social worker, caterer, flight attendant, bookkeeper, medical/dental assistant, exercise physiologist, elementary school teacher, minister/priest/rabbi, retail owner, officer manager, telemarketer, counselor, special education teacher, merchandise planner, credit counselor, athletic coach, insurance agent, sales representative, massage therapist, medical secretary, child care provider, bilingual education teacher, professional volunteer.

Take Free Career Inventory Personality Test
personality tests by similarminds.com

Multiple choice quiz 3

2004-05-30T15:55:00.000Z

Via [A Comedy Notebook]

What is this a picture of?

a) An Indian kid joining a protest against child slavery

b) A kid in India protesting against the war in Iraq

c) Michael Jackson's Annual Sleepover Party

Multiple choice quiz 2

2004-05-30T15:43:00.000Z

Via [A Comedy Notebook]

What is the weightlifter thinking in this photo?

a) Ow!!! My elbow!!

b) Help!! Somebody help!!!!!!!!

c) I wonder, is this going to hurt my chances of winning?

Multiple choice quiz

2004-05-30T15:10:00.000Z

Via [A Comedy Notebook]

Why is U.S. Defence Secretary Donald Rumsfeld wearing ear protection in this picture?

a) He just exited his helicopter

b) Military planes flying overhead

c) The soldier is telling him about more abuses at the Abu Ghraib prison

Got something to say?

2004-05-30T11:59:00.000Z

Just found this and the hilarity-factor has hit new heights!
Just type in what you want it to say and away it goes!

Needless to say I've had the lady avatar swearing like a trooper!! Dirty mouthed tramp!!

Finally got a visitor counter!

2004-05-30T10:54:00.000Z

Now that I know that I'm actually going to keep updating this regularly, I've decided to add a visitor counter.
That way I'll know whether my disciples are beginning to flock to their almighty!

Current visitor count is 0! Not sure if it's working yet!! D'oh!

Big Brother 5

2004-05-29T23:54:00.000Z

In typical fashion I spent Friday night screaming at the television screen, dismayed at the complete numptys that Channel 4 have put in the Big Brother house.
"Never before", I wailed in dismay, "Have I seen such a bunch of obnoxious, intolerant and bloody annoying people in my life". And therein lies the magic of BB, it gets people riled and gets them talking about it.

I know for a fact Marco is going to annoy the shit out of me, the minute he came on screen he was doing my head in! In fact nearly all of the housemates annoy the hell out of me, and the only three who don't are my predictions for the final 3.

First up is Jason

Next is Shell

And finally Nadia

Although credit has to go to Victor who, while everyone else took about 5 minutes to decide on their luggage nomination, took about 0.005 seconds to proclaim Kitten as the most undeserving and fucked in the head!

And then promptly comforted her when the nomination was announced!
What a dude!

What do you want to be when you're older!

2004-05-29T23:20:00.000Z

Ah, it's just like being back at school again!

Introverted (I) 52.94% Extroverted (E) 47.06%
Imaginative (N) 54.55% Realistic (S) 45.45%
Intellectual (T) 54.29% Emotional (F) 45.71%
Easygoing (P) 54.55% Organized (J) 45.45%

Your type is: INTP

You are an Architect, possible professions include - strategic planning, writer, staff development, lawyer, architect, software designer, financial analyst, college professor, photographer, logician, artist, systems analyst, neurologist, physicist, psychologist, research/development specialist, computer programmer, data base manager, chemist, biologist, investigator.

Take Free Career Inventory Personality Test
personality tests by similarminds.com

To ensure that I'm not being rash in my career decisions I thought I best do one of those stupid 'Career Inventory Personality Tests'!
Now, given that when I was in Year 11 my test told me that my ideal job was as a Tower Block Air Conditioning Technician, I am rather dubious of these tests!! However, at the ripe old age of 24 I think I've found my calling in life... so if you need any strategies planning or your database managing, I'm your man!!

Happy Birthday Pa Wreford!!

2004-05-28T16:00:00.000Z

Happy Birthday Pa Wreford, 53 on the 1st June!!

Another day with the lovely bank manager!

2004-05-28T11:03:00.000Z

As those of you who know me well will certainly testify, my monetary skills are rather poor.
Poor in that I am allergic to it.
Not just allergic, but I'm phobic about the stuff.

Poor me. Put the stuff anywhere near me or my bank account and I become hysterical, resorting to spending it like a crazy fool in all good record stores.

The result?
700 CD's. No money!

This usually means that, each month, I take on the Mission Impossible of getting my rent in on time (rumour has it that Tom Cruise is basing the new MI3 film on me). This month I managed it, albeit 3 weeks late, and sat smugly knowing that another month could pass before the crazy charade continued.

However, dear folks, upon checking my balance I saw that TWO rent cheques had gone out of my account. One of these had the terrible misfortune of bouncing.

Today I have spent the morning attempting to find out where this extra cheque came from. The cheque, as far as I can work out, was written in December 2003. But the letting agency have no recollection of it, claim I am otherwise up-to-date with my rent, and reckon they only cashed one cheque!

I am truly baffled. The bank are getting a copy of the cheque so we can see who paid it in, the problem being that the cheque that bounced was the one the letting agency know they paid in.
So I am currently one month in arrears in the eyes of the letting agency. And one months rent money out of pocket but I don't know to who!!!

Anyway, the lovely ladies at the bank are 'on the case' and I've promised them that, should they solve this Agatha Christie-esque tale of murder and intrigue, I will buy them each a rose and serenade them in the bank!!

Updates as and when I hear anything!

Apologies for the last post

2004-05-28T11:00:00.000Z

Not sure why the picture isn't working. You should be able to see a big list of my 'Green' characteristics!
Hopefully I can 'get it up' soon. Ooh er missus!

The link is still working though so try it yourself.

What colour is your brain?

2004-05-28T10:56:00.000Z

My brain is a lovely icky green colour!?!

What Color is Your Brain?
brought to you by Quizilla

Not sure if thats a good or a bad thing!

Big Brother is back!

2004-05-27T23:07:00.000Z

The Best Bits Of Big Brother Programme on Channel 4 tonight (Thurs) reminded me of two of my favourite BB moments.

Alex baring his arse and yelling to the BB minger, "Come and kiss my arse Jade"

And then the ultimate BB moment, it couldn't have been scripted better!

"Thats the way, uh huh uh huh, I like it, uh huh uh huh!"

Would you like to shower with Jesus?

2004-05-27T02:05:00.000Z

Well Jesus is providing the opportunity you've all been waiting for, get in touch with him to explain why you would make a good bathing partner!!
What a dude!! I love his endorsements page, a lovely mix of Egyptian Cotton Towels, Scissors, Bathroom Products and 'lubricant'!!!!

The sad end of a bat.

2004-05-27T00:57:00.000Z

After the upset of breaking the bat there seemed only one thing left to do.
We stirred up the embers of the barbeque and sacrificed the bat handle and the bat.

As any good Bush Tucker Man knows, the secret of a splendid fire is to start up a Rolf Harris tribute band. The generous billowing of the wibble board, and the cascading gusts of the Didgeridoo, allow for a fantastic fire!!
Can you guess what it is yet?

But this wasn't doing the job. Where there is smoke, WE NEED FIRE!
Dave was summonsed to the garage to 'bring the lighter fluid'.

As the flames began to grow we watched our signatures, signed at the beginning of this momentous occasion, begin to fade. The heat grew and the flames became towering furnaces of evil!

The immense joy of being at one with natures most vicious tool soon turned to fear that we had actually set fire to Dan & Raynor's wooden pagoda.
There was only one way to fight this potential for devastation, and that was to fight fire with fire! (well, more lighter fluid anyway!)

After the towering inferno had begun to die down there was a fear that, as the bat was made of such quality timber (finest Peruvian balsa, so I'm led to believe), the heat would not sufficiently destroy the beast.
Cue Handy Andy, always ready for action with his power saw. He soon set about wounding the sturdy length, while admirably still finding time to keep drinking his beer!

Disaster almost struck! In the excitement of decimating the bat, Dan sought to satisfy his hunger by eating one of the sausages from the barbeque.
"No Dan, that's no sausage, that's a flaming bat handle!" We cried.
Catastrophe averted, we set about crushing the ashen timber.

The ashes were set upon by a pair of insatiable, devouring tongs. Although heartbreaking to do, it was a job that had to be done in order to allow us to bottle the sacred ashes.

The careful funneling of the ashes into a Stella bottle ensured that we now had an ashen chalice, ready to be presented to next years winner of the Annual Sudbrooke Ball Game Gala!
The world waits with baited breath!

You've probably seen this before...

2004-05-27T00:28:00.000Z

... but these penguins still make me laugh!! How very mean!